The last time I did that thing people. Go to the dealership. Point to the car nearest passable. Grunt. Agree to pay 437 percent interest. As the years and money raised pit bosses and bad brakes and miles, I knew it was time to be smart. I would like to save a deposit and buy a new car, or at least newish. This time I would not be a fool. I would do the job, securing my own loan. But I was worried. While many car dealers are good, righteous people, I still look like a Cabbage Patch doll. Will I be taken seriously? I have used this wonderful tool of deception is the Internet.If people can make themselves look 40 pounds lighter in sexy pictures of Facebook, I could probably handle a deal on a car.

Feature film for Paramount.

Original Appalachian Artworks, which owns the brand, said Monday it has sold TV rights to Walker along with  CWA Carlin West Agency, a company created by Carlin West , a former executive with 4Kids Entertainment.

A spokesperson said a script is in the works for an animated TV special featuring the Cabbage Patch Kids, which were created in 1978 but became a phenomenon in 1983 when some shoppers literally rioted over their inability to get their hands on one of the chubby, wrinkled dolls.

So intense was the short-lived fad that Newsweek magazine featured the Cabbage Patch Kids on its cover.

When it was announced a couple years ago that Hasbro had launched a production company with Paramount and was in the process of creating movies based up on its lines of toys and games, every single product, when mentioned in the context of a potential movie franchise, sounded completely batballs ridiculous. And still does. Time and an actual film will not somehow magically make me feel as though the tale of Stretch Armstrong requires not only a film, but a film to squishify young girls by enlisting that Na’vi boy they’re trying to make a sexy thing .

But this one…it’s as though it should make the most sense. And because of that it makes the least.

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